I almost lost my lunch when I heard that a woman bid $63,500 to have lunch with Sarah Palin. I kept thinking of how a contribution of this size would help Truth Wins Out fight the ex-gay industry for nearly a year. It would greatly assist us in our efforts to monitor these groups, conduct crucial research, help people come out of the closet and investigate ex-gay boot camps that abuse GLBT youth.
So, I was thinking, why not have our supporters bid to have lunch with me?
Okay, I can’t see Russia from my office. Sarah probably looks better in a beauty pageant swimsuit. And, no, I don’t have fabulous clothes swiped on the Republican National Committee’ credit card.
But, if you ask, I can tell you what newspapers and magazines I read! And, if you dine with me, we won’t have to talk about death panels, I won’t flirtatiously wink at everyone and you won’t have to suffer through a bowl of moose stew. Most importantly, you will never hear the word “maverick”. Also, unlike Palin, I don’t chew with my mouth full. Okay, I made up the last part — although Levi Johnston is likely to back me up.
Seriously, if each person on this list contributes $25 today, we will exceed the obscene price paid to eat with Sarah “Barracuda” Palin. For those affected by these difficult times, a tax-deductible gift of $5 or $10 would help us enormously.
Finally, I will dine with the highest bidder when he or she comes to New York. If the bid exceeds $10,000, I will even fly to you! If you match the contribution to Palin, I will throw in breakfast, coffee and dinner. Don’t even think about dessert, I have a boyfriend. (If someone did match it, we could make international news and get out our important life-saving message.)
I look forward to your contribution to help an inspiring cause. Let the bidding begin!
or please write a check to:
Truth Wins Out
33 West 19th Street, 4th Floor
New York, NY 10011